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NEWS
On The Bass - A New Sound Criminal 23 August 2010

The Sound Criminals now have a full line up once again thanks to the addition of Kate, their new bass player who joined last month. Kate joins the band following a successful breakout from Holloway where she was serving a long stretch for her involvement in the Faberge Easter Egg robbery, during which she single handedly out witted every security measure with her combination of agility, gymnastic prowess and explosives knowledge. She explains, "Getting caught was all part of the plan once the goods were in safe hands. I never had any doubts that The Sound Criminals would turn up as planned and successfully break me out of that dump. I'm really happy to be a Sound Criminal now and am excited about the many audio crimes that we will be committing together in the future. But hey, if anyone thinks that I'll take any grief from these ******* they can think again!"

Mean while the boys - Stu, Gaz and Al, say they are delighted to have such an accomplished criminal musician joining them. Our US(eless) correspondent, Hue Dunnit caught up with the band at their studio.

Hue: "So it must be great to have a complete band again. How long do you think it will be before you'll be gigging again?"

Stu: "I wa...."

Al: "Kate, this is Hue the reporter bloke we told you about. Hue this is Kate."

Hue: "Hello Kate."

Gaz: "Hello... oh sorry."

Kate: "Hi."

Hue: "A couple of months maybe? Till you get back to...."

Kate: "When these guys have learnt all the songs and not a moment sooner!"

Hue: "er er er ok urr thanks um Kate. So urr Kate..."

Kate: "Yea what?"

Hue: "Urrr ummm I was just wondering what you make of these guys now that you've had time to get to know them a bit?"

Kate: "Mincemeat!"

Hue: "urr what?"

Kate: "Mincemeat. That's what I'll make of them once I've got to know them a bit more!"

Al: "I wonder what an ostrich thinks about."

Gaz: "When it has it's head buried in the sand?"

Al: "No just in general."

Stu: "I wan......"

Hue: "Um so guys a question from your fans now. Do you think having a female band member will change you in any way?"

Gaz: "Absolutely not. Why would it?"

Al: "Oh **** I've broken a ******* finger nail!"

Stu: "I want...."

Kate: "Of course it will change them. I'll toughen them up. They're a bunch of wimps!"

Hue: "So how is the recording going? Have you had a chance to work on your album recently?"

Stu: "I want my...."

Kate: "No comment."

Al: "Well it's ..."

Kate: "No comment!!!"

Gaz: "Al she said no comment. Best if you just leave it there really."

Hue: "Oh is that the time? OK thanks for the interview. Nice to meet you Kate. Looks urr li li like you've got the g g guys umm under control."

Stu: "I want my bit in!"

Al: "Oh god."

Gaz: "'ere we go."

Kate: "Grrrrr."

Hue: "Oh ok sorry Stu what was your bit? What did you want to say?"

Stu: "I forgotten now."

Kate: "Hue cough now."

Hue: "Cough?"

Kate: "Yes **** off!"
----------------------

But seriously, Gaz, Stu and Al are really chuffed to have Kate join them. Not only is she a great bass player, but she's also one of us through and through. We're all looking forward to getting back to gigging as soon as possible. Welcome to The Sound Criminals Kate!



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